The NME is right inside your head

“It’s not worth buying it” said one guy posting to the Libertines official forum yesterday. Say what? Pete’s on the cover with an exclusive on his solo album (“It’s completely different from anything else I’ve done!”) and there’s also good old Barat with another exclusive on the DPT upcoming second album (and a photo!!! Naked???? With long or short hair? Smoking? Going fat? Farting? Etc etc). But no. “It’s not worth buying it” the guy repeated. So we get into the newsagent and buy some Mars bars and cat food, hoping to catch some glimpse of the Baherty pages.
First we see Peter on the cover. Great. And this is basically what “the NME exclusive, behind the scenes of Pete Doherty's solo album” says (thanks to Humber Humbert):

Fior is producing. Over half already recorded. Hope to have the album completed by summer then released afterwards. Fior says there is a spark there - “he’s gone and produced the album he wanted to....now that the album is out and people like it there’s space to relax and record”. New album will probably feature 12 songs, inc Ends, Cuckoo, Siberian Fur & Darksome Sea (both piano led songs), a more orchestral version of For Lovers, Withdrawn and Shaken (apparently sounds a bit like The Blinding, it features a spoken word part). “One of the songs is Vegas showtime, it’ll give The Killers a run for their money”. Peter says the deal with Parlophone was for 2 Shambles albums & 1 solo. So there is no reason for the label to be opposed. London rapper Klashnekoff & The Thirst contribute to the album. Klashnekoff includes a lyric on Ends that goes ‘Come swingin’ like McGuigan with a barrage of punches’. Influences as diverse as pre-electic Bolan, Steely Dan, Doors & John Barry. “I think we’re trying to move on from where (former boyband) Blue left off.” Peter says, when the NME ask him if this will be more tender than the last Shambles album.

And this is the “exclusive interview with Carl Barat about the forthcoming Dirty Pretty Things album” (yes, there’s also a photo. No, he’s not naked. He has short hair. Yes, he’s smoking. No, he’s not going fat. Yes, he’s farting. For the record, the photo is 5 months old):

Dirty Pretty Things have just finished recording their second album in California and frontman Carl Barat originally wanted it to be a free download. However speaking from sunny Santa Monica beach just before flying back to London, Barat explained that his idea for a dirty pretty free-for-all was quickly shot down. “I wanted to give the album away on the internet like Radiohead did” he enthused “I saw what they did and said ‘Oh that’s great, let’s do that too’, but Alan McGee told me straight off that it wasn't going to occur. Ah Well.” Although you’ll have to fork out for it DPTs second album looks set to spring a few surprises on fans. Recorded over two months late last year, the band decamped to producer Nick Leman’s Santa Monica office-cum-studio (Barat: “It was tempting to get a big name producer but, er, we didn't have any money") and laid down 20 songs, including ‘Hippy Son’, ‘Plastic Hearts’ ‘Come Closer’ ‘Punks, Suits, Military’ ‘Chinese Dogs’ ‘Faultlines’ ‘The North’ ‘Tired of England’ ‘Blood on my Shoes’ and ‘This is Where the Truth Begins’ (a contender for the album’s title). Twelve songs are set to make the final cut. “We didn't record it live, and it’s the first time I’ve ever recorded like that” explained Barat “It was a bit unnerving - the three albums I’ve done before had all been recorded live. But there’s a lot of melody in these songs, and you risk losing that if you just thrash around. “It’s a bit easier on the ear” he added suggesting that it will differ from their debut, “I don’t mean it’s easy listening by any means, but we got a bit Black Flag on the last one. This one’s a lot more considered but the passion and intent is the same". Some of the songs which will make the final cut, such as probable first single ‘Plastic Hearts’ are already live favourites but Barat was quick to warn fans not to expect standard replications of the songs on the album “the songs have changed a hell of a lot since we started playing them live” he said “When we played them first we were freestyling, but now we’ve even got strings on some of them, well it’s strings through a keyboard effect, so it’s cheating, but it’s still strings! We’ve got some weird drum sounds too - some really, er, block rockin’ beats”. These block rockin’ beats were inspired by the bands lengthy stay in LA, though not in a way you would expect. “I’ve been hanging out in a skanky English bar called the Cock’N’Bull, drinking Boddingtons - maybe that’s my inspiration” recalled Barat “Last night we got spanked by some rednecks in a bowling alley, maybe that’s what we’ll call the album ‘Spanked by the Yanks”.

My most faithful followers (oh-ho! Airs!) will know the same interview was posted here on 21 November 2007. So, exclusive my ass. And I wonder why the NME has to recycle an old interview done on the phone from L.A. rather than trying to get physically in touch with Carlos now that he’s back to London and to his ordinary life (i.e. clubbing) to have some fresh news (if there are any). But hell, it’s the NME!

As if it wasn’t enough, the new regular columns “Tabloid Hell” and “Daily Ligger” are giving us a lot of useful information. For instance, we know that Peter bought some new designer clothes in Paris before the Olympia gig (and maybe another kitten). Or that poor Britney Spears is preggers again. Who cares? Well, it’s the NME!!!

As every Moz-buff in the world I've always despised the NME. But I think the rag is reaching an all-time low in these days. Unfortunately, it's the only music weekly we have. As our friend Stokie posted to French Dog Writtles: "To be fair, you would probably get just as reliable information from HEAT magazine at the moment".