I'm Looking For Talent To Appear On The [upcoming solo] Tour.
If you think you have a special talent you wish to share with us please get in touch. We are looking for talented individuals from the towns on the tour to wow the crowd between the support bands. We're looking for plate spinners, psychics, tap dancers, burlesque ladies (and gents), interpretive dancers, mimes, acrobats, escapologists, jugglers, sword swallowers, light operatic singers, contortionists etc etc .... people with an individual talent which would have lit up a variety stage back in the good old days.
For your 15 minutes of fame e mail email@example.com for an online audition. No-time wasters or people who are not prepared to have things thrown at them. Musicians need not apply unless it's a very special instrument.
Believe me... it's genuine.
I could apply but windsurfing in a theatre is a bit uneasy... and I'm not prepared to have things thrown at me. So, I pass.
Good luck to the all the brave ones!